What to do if you catch your roommate having sex?

So you caught your roommate having sex. Now what?

Want to be passive aggressive? We’ll complain for you about the moaning sounds you had to endure through the way too thin wall if you convinve you’re roommate to call the number here.
Maybe it was just some too loud for comfort moaning coming through the thin walls.
Maybe it was an hour long steamy shower session in the middle of the night.
Maybe it was full on turning the light in the living room to get your laundry screaming.

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Regardless of the severity of the incident, after this roommate having sex run in it’s hard to know what to do next.

Sterilise surfaces.

 

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If it was full on walking in on your roommate having sex in the living room situation, the first thing to do is try to get that image out of your head. There is nothing quite like trying to find a way to move on with your day after catching your roommate doing the nasty.

We recommend trying to distract yourself by engaging in non-sexy activities. There is no better way to get that awkward roommate having sex image out of your head like focusing on disgusting activities. Removing moldy food from the fridge or the classic declogging the shower drain of hair move are both great options.

This could also be a great time to take advantage of sterilizing surfaces. A solid bleach of that kitchen table can be incredibly comforting (especially if you are thinking about moments you didn’t walk in on).

acasa is a free tool for tracking shared expenses with your flatmates and setting up your utilities.

A not so sexy conversation.

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If your roommate’s sex habits are starting to have a regular negative impacts on your life, the next best thing to do is talking to them about it. Embarrassment can be a powerful weapon in fighting problems like roommate having loud sex syndrome. A subtle reminder in the morning of just how thin the walls are can be incredibly effective in gaining quiet nights of sleep in the future.

A solid banging the wall with your fist during the act and shouting “be quiet” is also an incredibly effective method to make things more quiet.

Set the rules.

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Creating a solid set of roommate sex rules can help solve future run-ins. The top 5 roommate having sex rules we recommend are:
Watch the volume. No one wants to hear their roommates moans or dirty talk.
Stick to individual spaces. You live in a shared flat, please keep things contained to your bedroom. If it has to be the shower, try to keep it quick.
Play music. Music is a great muffler and can keep everyone happy.
Respect closed doors. Also if you share a room with someone respect the sock on the door knob system.
Never have sex with your roommate. It gets complicated. Avoid dating a roommate at all costs.

Revenge.

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Caught your roommate having sex and really want to get back at them. There are a number of strategies you can take.

You can go for the congrats on the sex cake or graphic post-it notes are a good option. Make such a big deal about it that they will (hopefully) get embarrassed and quiet down next time.

You can also go a more tit for other tit method and have them catch you in the act. Don’t be afraid to (literally) turn things up a notch the next time your bae spends the night. That being said, be warned as one must tread carefully as roommate having sex revenge can be dangerous territory.

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