Dealing With Passive Aggressive Housemates

It’s sad but true: if you’ve ever lived in a shared house before, you’ve almost definitely encountered that frustrating creature, the passive aggressive housemate.

Whether it was your university flatmate who always found an excuse before they found money to pay you back with, the mystery sharer who never emerged to clean the kitchen when it was their turn or a co-habitant who picks holes in every system you try and implement to keep the peace, this monster always pops up in one form or another during your life as a house sharer.

Unfortunately, there’s no magic solution to passive aggression from someone you share a roof with. For smaller gripes, a begrudging acceptance can be the best antidote. However, these disputes oftentimes involve money and cleanliness, both of which you owe each other as members of the same household.

In dealing with ongoing situations involving chores or bills, structure will be your greatest weapon. If there is a foolproof system in place for sharing responsibility, it becomes immediately obvious who isn’t pulling their weight and there aren’t many viable excuses for not doing so.

Introduce a cleaning rota

Sometimes, treating your household like a business that needs to keep ticking over is the only way to get anything done. Cleaning rotas are the fairest way of sharing the burden of keeping the house clean, tidy and comfortable for everyone.

As well as being diplomatic, they’re super easy to implement. Create a list of chores that need doing once a week—such as “clean the bathroom”, “clean the kitchen”, “mop the floors”, “take the bins out”—and rotate responsibility for carrying out each chore. The person whose turn it is has a whole week to do the work and everyone is always pulling their weight.

Bill-splitting apps

However you’ve chosen to share the household costs, it’s important to have some system in place to keep things organised. Some prefer to nominate a designated person for each bill, others open joint accounts with their flatmates. However, both of these solutions come with pitfalls that could disadvantage people unfairly over time.

The reason that bill-splitting apps work so well is their relative lack of financial risk. Find a platform that charges everyone directly for what they owe and offers transparency in terms of overdue balances. You’re not automatically out of pocket if someone can’t (or won’t) cough up immediately, and you’re not tied to people who are unreliable at managing their own money for years to come.

Use acasa

acasa is a household management platform designed for students and sharers. With acasa, you can avoid unnecessary conflict around splitting utility bills with our direct billing and balance tracking systems. Get a free quote from acasa for your property and enjoy a less stressful approach to managing your shared house.

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